Thursday, December 9, 2010

Less Green, Please

What is up with Drury and its need to make driving/parking a little bit harder with each passing year?  My freshman year driving was just fine; there were plenty of places to park, and getting around was relatively simple.  Then, during my sophomore year, they closed off one of the roads to make way for construction of the O’Reilly Event Center.  Suddenly it was a little more difficult to get to my parking space.  But it was just a minor annoyance and I didn’t think too much of it.  But now this year, my junior year, another avenue has been closed off.  Drury decided the best thing they could possibly do with the empty lot where Turner and Belle halls once stood was make it an empty lot with grass on top instead of creating more parking spaces to make way for the huge load of incoming freshmen.  Not only that, but one of the lanes into Freeman lot has been closed off, effectively bottlenecking the only way in or out of that parking lot.  I discovered this to my ire while driving to my on-campus summer job, and having to turn around in Drury Lane and go around campus to get a parking space.
Are you kidding me?  Why is this such a difficult concept to comprehend: that a campus should be easily navigable?  Not to mention that Drury actually cut down available parking spaces when they closed off Freeman’s entrance (at least twelve).  It also doesn’t help that so far all the new green space has done is just sit there, looking green.  Now, I know, people weren’t allowed on it for a while because the grass was growing, and now it’s all cold and stuff, but you know what?  You know those benches they built for students to sit on?  The ones that have been available to the public since day one?  Never used.  I walk by that space at least four times a day going to and from classes, and I’ve never once seen someone using the benches.  I even had to shoot a story on the green space for DUTV, and I was out there for a full fifteen minutes before someone even walked through the space so I could interview them.  What a waste. 
I can’t help but feel this is nothing but a ploy for Drury to snag another sustainability award.  We won it last year for doing things that actually help, like removing trays from the Commons to reduce the amount of dishwashing, or the slow phasing-out of trash cans with recycling bins.  But this just feels pointless.  So what if we have another field?  How is that helping?  It may make campus look prettier, but, so?  It’s not making campus sustainable, it’s only making it look sustainable.  It’s not the same.

PlayStation Roundup

Semester's almost over.  And yet, so close to the end, my PlayStation 3 sits unused, as it has since I came back from Thanksgiving break.  I haven't been able to touch it because of all the work I've been doing the past few weeks.  Nor have I been able to play any casual online games.  What's a blogger to do?

How about giving a brief judgment of all the games I've played on the PS3 this year?  What better way to wrap up the semester than with one general, overall look at what I've been playing?

Assassin's Creed II-4.75/5: you already know why.

Dead Space-2/5: this was really disappointing.  Everyone who plays this game says it's one of the best (and scariest) things they've ever played.  All lies.  Boring, repetitive, unscary, no surprises, repetitive, cliche storyline, and repetitive.

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots-3/5: Another disappointment, but this one was much more minor.  It's the end to one of the longest-running game series of all time, and as an ending, it's pretty good.  Too bad a lot of it's rushed, and the gameplay isn't very exciting.

Ninja Gaiden Sigma-3.5/5: They weren't kidding when they said this is one of the hardest games ever made.

Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction-4.5/5: I love the Ratchet and Clank series, and after a disappointing previous entry on the PlayStation 2, this game reminded me again of why I love it so.

Resistance: Fall of Man-4/5: This one was a surprise, like Metal Gear Solid and Dead Space, but this was actually a pleasant one.  I was expecting a pretty boring shooter going into it, with nothing really special or defining.  And for the first few levels it was.  But about 1/4 of the way through, it turned into one of the most fun and exciting shooters I've ever played.

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune-4/5: This one's unfinished so far, butr at the moment it's very, very fun.  It has one of the most cinematic storylines I've ever seen, and fun platforming (jumping around) gameplay.  The only problem so far is gunfights that stretch out wayyyyyyyy longer than they need to.  We'll see if that becomes enough of a problem later on to affect its score.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Why Aren't More Sequels Like Assassin's Creed II?

Sequels aren't good.  Sorry.  They're not.  Any time a sequel to a popular movie/game/book is announced, caution is always the best approach since usually a sequel, instead of focusing on the continuing stories of the characters, revolve more around spectacle and crowd-pleasing.  I point to Iron Man 2 as a good example of sequel-itis.  That or Pirates of the Carribean.  But sometimes, sequels not only continue the stories set up by the first installment logically, but also manage to go back and pave over flaws that hampered the original.  Assassin's Creed II is such a sequel.


Assassin's Creed was a game full of potential.  You play Altair, a member of a secret society of Assassins devoted to maintaining order in the world.  Basically, you bop around the Crusade-era Middle East and assassinate members of the Templar order, who are trying to bring the Holy Land under their control.  Fun idea, but very fatally flawed.  The gameplay was the main issue.  It was repetitive to the point of annoying: there are nine different assassination missions and all of them play out almost the exact same way: you go to some ancient city, punch a few witnesses until they give you information about your target, go to target, stab, and run away before you're killed by guards.  Fun the first time, but by the final time it's maddening.  In addition, Altair kind of sucked a little as a main character.  He's bland, doesn't have much personality, doesn't go through much growth, and basically just jumps around rooftops like a badass and not much else.  There's also a science-fiction subplot that's more annoying rather than intriguing, the way they were intending.

But the sequel went back and, if not fixed completely, tweaked the problems enough to make it almost an entirely different experience.  In the sequel, you play a noble named Ezio Auditore de Firenze in Renaissance-era Italy.  He is a descendant of Altair (don't ask me how that's possible) who, after his family is betrayed and executed by Templars, dons the Assassin's cape and hunts them all down in a fit of angsty vengeance.

This game should be the poster child of videogame sequels.  Remember that repetitive gameplay I told you about?  Almost non-existent in this game.  The game has a much more narrative-style flow, which means your missions can be escort missions, or tailing missions, or simply walking around exploring the sights.  You even get a chance to fly Leonardo da Vinci's flying machine halfway through the game.

Also, Ezio is everything Altair isn't.  Ezio has depth, and multiple levels to his character, something Altair heavily lacked.  Ezio starts out as a brash womanizer, and even when he starts his revenge, he still has a bit of fun-loving flair to him.  Even his angst is believable.  It's not annoying and not focused on, and his character arc as he slowly begins to accept his birthright as an Assassin is handled subtly and naturally.

I'm not done with this game: unfortunately, since school's started up again, I don't have any time to play.  But so far, I'd say it's the best game I've played this year; even though it came out last year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPTAWHywY6E

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Final Fantasy IX

Too bad there aren't any turkey-related games to do another holiday-themed post.  Oh, well.  This time, let's talk about what I'm playing right now.


Even if you've never played a single game in your life, there's no way you haven't at least heard of the Final Fantasy series.  It's one of the oldest and most enduring game franchises around, second only to icons Mario and Sonic.  It's been around almost as long as console gaming itself, appearing first on the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1987.  Now, twenty-three years later, there are over thirty games in the franchise: fourteen in the main series, and endless spin-offs, compilations, and re-releases that have had a say on pretty much every console imaginable: there's even two movies and a TV series based on the games.

This particular entry, Final Fantasy IX, is my personal favorite (of the ones I've played), and I would even go so far to say it's my favorite video game of all time.  What makes it so great?  First and foremost, the music.  The music in this game is beautiful.  With the exception of a couple shoddy tracks near the end of the game, the soundtrack is flawless.  The music sets the mood perfectly no matter what setting you're in; if you're in a haunted forest, it's tinkly and eerie; if you're in the middle of a chase sequence, it's fast and intense.  One of my favorite tracks is this one, which plays during one of the game's many minigames.

The plot and characters are also awesome.  One of my philosophies of entertainment is, Cliches and stereotypes are okay if you can make them interesting.  This game is Exhibit A.  The story is full of archetypal characters and cliched plotlines.  For example, the main character is a cocky thief who, along with his fellow rogues, kidnaps the princess of Alexandria, one of the world's main kingdoms.  Over the course of the game, he starts to break her out of her royal shell and help her become a better person, and she in turn humbles him and helps mold him into the hero he becomes later in the story.  And, naturally, they fall in love.  Or how about the cold, uncaring loner who lears about the power of teamwork and friendship?  Or the tormented warrior who pines for her unrequited love?  Or the cackling villain who literally "mwa-ha-ha"s when his evil plan is beginning to work?  If it sounds corny, it is, but it clicks so naturally, and the story is paced impeccably, with each character getting their own arc and development (quite a feat with eight protagonists).

The graphics are also fantastic (at least, by PlayStation One standards).  This was made in the days when this was considered good graphics:

Final Fantasy upped the bar and made the graphics look like this:


Granted, it's still very aged-looking at this point, but this was back in 1999, before even the PlayStation 2 had arrived.  The scenery of the game is lush, and a lot of the backgrounds look like paintings.

Even though the game has lost a bit of luster as I've aged (I blame this mostlyon the fact that I've played it at least eight times), there still hasn't been a game to come along to top it.  Even though it's an incredibly long game (40 hours of play time at its shortest), I still come back to play it every now and again.  It's just that good.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Lazy, I Am

Well, since I've once again found myself up against a wall (it wasn't my fault; my computer broke), let's go back to my go-to fillin-up-space subject: casual games.

Today's genre is room-escape games.  These are fun little games wherein you wake up in an unfamiliar room and you have to escape.  They're point-and-click games, much like Monkey Island.  One of the best versions is Crimson Room.  It's one of the first of its kind, and has paved the way for over 50 others in the genre.  It also has several sequels, including Veridian Room and White Chamber.  There are also a few of them that put a spin on the genre, such as 10 Second Escape, which gives you, as the name implies, only ten seconds to escape the room.  To win that one, you need to play over and over and click on different things until you find the correct 10-second sequence to get out of the room.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Moby Dick

Well, that didn't take long.  Robot Unicorn Attack has officially drifted out of the conciousness of our theatre department.  Disappointing, yes, but not unexpected.  Eventually, you just can't handle another chorus of "Aaaalways I wanna beeee with you/And make belieeeeve with you."  And once you've finally gotten over 100,000 points, it just doesn't seem worth it anymore.

But, there's another game that's been filling the robotic hole in my heart, if only a little: Moby Dick.  Moby Dick is another endless game, but this time instead of a unicorn you play the legendary whale.  You start off relatively small, eating little fish that swim past you in the ocean.  Eventually, fishermen start to float by above and harpoon you as they pass.  You retaliate by ramming their boats and then gobbling them up as they sink to the ocean floor.  As you eat more people/fish, you grow in size and get more points.  However, the boats also get bigger.  Eventually you go from tiny fishing boats to enormous galleons armed with cannons.  This game is significantly harder than Robot Unicorn Attack, but still fun.  If you're interested, here you go.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Best Scary Games

Well, Halloween's coming.  And, naturally, what better blog post to make than one that's Halloween-y?  Since this is a blog based more or less around games, what better option than to talk about some of my favorite scary games and what makes them so scary?



The 7th Guest (1992)


This one is definitely a nostalgic piece for me.  I've owned this game ever since it was first released, back when I was two years old.  I used to watch my mom play this game when it first came out, and then when I was old enough to play games myself, I started playing.  It tells the story of a man named Henry Stauf, who was nothing more than a petty criminal, stealing just enough to get by.  But, one day, when robbing an old woman, he accidentally kills her.  Once he does, he starts to get visions of a beautiful doll while he sleeps.  When he wakes, he constructs the the doll from memory, and sells it to a bar owner to get food and shelter for a while.  Over time he builds more of the strange dolls, and starts up his own business selling them.  The dolls are unbelievably popular among the children of Harley on the Hudson (the town he lives in), and he quickly becomes a millionaire.  However, one by one, the children of Harlye begin to succumb to a mysterious, uncurable disease.  When this happens, Stauf suddenly closes shop and shuts himself away in a big, mysterious mansion on a hill.

Cut to an unknown number of years later (presumably the 1930's, judging by the costumes of the characters), and six seemingly random people receive invitations in the mail asking them to stay the night in the mansion for a party.  They arrive at the house and quickly discover that something's not right: the house is empty, their host is nowhere to be seen, and they have each been left individual letters telling them they are to play a game, one that involves a mysterious seventh guest that hasn't arrived yet.  The letters promise each of them that they will be rewarded with their most secret desire if they win the game.  From there it's a macabre ghost story, filled with murder, intrigue, and of course, lots and lots of spooky occurences.  You play a mysterious entity (named in the manual as Ego) who arrives at the house with no memory of who he is and what he is doing there.  You travel through the house trying to piece together who you are and what happened to all of the guests.  Every cutscene you see is a memory, a projection made by the house that plays back events that occured.

This is a puzzle game, somewhat in the same vein as Monkey Island, but a little more basic.  Instead of being given a series of tasks to accomplish through item collection and exploration, each room of the house has a logic puzzle to solve.  Solving the puzzle unlocks a cutscene which provides another piece of the puzzle of what happened that fateful night.  Some of the puzzles are easy, and some (such as an Othello-style game that pits you against the computer's AI) are insanely difficult.  But all of them can be defeated with patience and a little note-taking.

The problem is: even though I said above that I would be talking about scary games, this game isn't very scary.  The game is very tongue-in-cheek, and is more bizarre than actually scary.  A lot of the ghostly events that occur are corny and silly (such as a skeleton playing an organ) and, especially since the game is nearing its 20th birthday, it's starting to look really dated.  Also, the actors are all really, reaaalllly bad, and add to the game's camp value rather than scare value.  Third, the story makes no sense.  All of the cutscenes are shown out of chronological order, so you have to piece together exactly how the night progressed yourself.  There are some holes in character progression (one character's death is never shown, and it's unclear whether Stauf killed her, or one of the guests did, or if she's possessed, or a ghost; it's weird).  And the ending is random, doesn't make sense unless you look at online forums explaining it, and leaves it very unclear as to how exactly you "won."

Scariest Moment:  Now, given that I said the game isn't very scary, why am I including it in a list of scary games?  While it's true the acting is hammy, the effects are dated, and the story is confusing, there are still a few effective moments.  One that really disturbed me when I was a kid happened about halfway through the game: after doing nothing but solving logic puzzles, you go down into the basement and suddenly find yourself in the middle of a massive maze.  There is no map, and no help.  Your only option is to descend into the darkness and find the exit.  This part of the game really disturbed me as a kid for a number of reasons.  The first is the eerie music that plays, which is ominous and oppressive.  It adds to the sense of isolation the maze gives, and gives the impression that there might just be something waiting for you around that dark corner, or at the end of that hallway.  The second is the maze itself which, with the exception of what's right next to you, is pitch black.  It's a long, thin, dark, claustrophobic hallway, with no end in sight.  It's also huge, and if you aren't prepared for it, you're going to be very lost for a very long time.  The third thing that makes it scary is what happens when you hit a dead-end.  Each time you do, the music becomes quick and panic-y, and Stauf's voice rings echoes through the empty halls, "Feeling.....loooooonelyyyyyyy....?"  Kind of cheesy, but also kind of freaky.  If you want to see the maze, it's here (the maze starts at 4:05).  Now, this is a different version than what I grew up with, and as such there's a couple of unnecessary added effects (skeletons and booby traps), the hallway is better-lit than in my version, and the music isn't the same.  What I recommend is to play the real music track over a muted version of the maze, and you might be able to somewhat recreate the experience.

That, and there's also this moment (6:15 in).
Silent Hills 2 and 3 (2001 & 2003)



















Now these are some scary games.  I first came across these games when they appeared on many people's Best Games list.  Intrigued, I went searching and just happened to find copies at Entertainmart.  I was not disappointed with these games.

These games are in the survival horror genre.  For those of you who don't know what that means, it's basically an action game, but instead of focusing primarily on action, it focuses on unnerving the player.  Weapons and healing items are scarce, and there's a constant sense of dread and menace.  And, of course, some variation of monsters and/or zombies.  These games are the epitome of the genre and, while I can't speak for the first game (I haven't played it yet), they're the most effective horror games I've ever played.

They accomplish this through both physical and psychological means.  There are, of course, the monsters, which are frightening, but the games also employ bizarre, nightmarish surrealism such as impossible spaces (endless staircases, interiors larger than exteriors, etc.), sudden changes in scenery (transition between "light" and "dark" versions of the world), and grotesque imagery (wriggling, flesh-colored walls, to name one example).  The music is also a huge factor in scares.  The music, unlike most horror scores (which are full of blaring trumpets and shrieking violins), is grungy, dark, and industrial.  Also unlike most horror scores, the music isn't meant to startle you, but to unnerve you and make you anxious.  And it works.  It really works.

In addition, the storylines for these games (especiall 2's) are very rewarding.  They're layered, complex, and filled with symbolism.  The characters are all dynamic, flawed, and go through major growth.  The writing is far, far above par for a video game, and almost every line of dialogue is important in some way.  Even though the voice acting is beyond terrible, this is probably the only time I'll say that it's a good thing.  The stilted, not-quite-normal way everyone talks intensifies the dream-like feel of the games, and serves to further unsettle the player.

Silent Hill 2 is about a man named James Sunderland, who has come to the town of Silent Hill after receiving a letter from his wife, Mary, beckoning him to the town.  The only problem with this is that Mary's been dead for years.  Naturally, he's confused, but intrigued, so he goes to the town to find her.  When he arrives, he finds himself sucked into the nightmare of the haunted town.  On his journey he meets many strange people who have also been called to the town for an unknown purpose, and a woman named Maria who, strangely, is an exact doppelganger of Mary.  It'd take too much time to explain every facet of what's really going on, and I've already kept you for a very long time, so I'll leave it at that.

Silent Hill 3 takes a more classical horror approach.  Whereas 2 was more melancholy, a sojourn into James's inner darkness, 3 is more straightforward.  You play Heather Mason, a high schooler stalked by the evil power haunting the town.  Eventually she learns that she is the chosen vessel to birth the God of Silent Hill, that will essentially turn the whole world into a nightmare.  Spooky thought.


Scariest Moments:  Now these scary moments I can actually show you.  The first takes place in Silent Hill 2.  At around the halfway point you're exploring Silent Hill's hospital.  The scene in question takes place at around 8:45 in this video.  At the end of a long staircase you find yourself in a long hallway.  You run towards the camera, so you can't see where you're going.  When you round the first corner, you suddenly hear a low roar and heavy footfalls coming from behind you.  Panicing, you begin to run madly at the camera, but there's another turn ahead.  You take those few slow, painful seconds to turn around, all the while the monster lurches closer and closer.  You can only catch glimpses of it occasionally as it chases you, but you can hear it coming for you, and all the while a low siren is sounding that slowly gets louder and louder as you run faster and faster, and the hall keeps twisting and turning and you can't get away until, finally, the elevator out of there looms out of the gloom.  But it's still not over.  You make it into the elevator, but Maria doesn't.  And no matter how much you struggle, you can't save her from the monster.  It's an absolutely terrifying, frantic chase, and one of the few times that a game has ever made me feel real panic.

Silent Hill 3's scary moment is a bit longer than 2's.  In this part of the game, Heather finds herself in Silent Hill's amusement park.  She wanders into the Borley Haunted Mansion, one of the park's attractions.  If you want to follow along, the sequence starts at about 3:25.  At first the house seems like a typical funhouse attraction, with a cheesy announcer and spooky sets.  But as you continue further on into the house, everything begins to deteriorate and become more sinister, until you're walking through a hellish, bloody, industrial version of the ride.  But, you finally reach the end, and the voice beckons you to exit the ride.  But when you do, there's only more house on the other side.  The voice comes back on: "That was supposed to be the exit.  It seems no one wants you to leave."  This part is very much like Silent Hill 2's chase scene, and carries the same sense of fear and panic, except this time you're chased by a mysterious red light.  One of the few things that legitimately freaks me out is the idea of a funhouse that's actually haunted/dangerous, and this game tapped right into that fear.

Scratches (2006)



This is another haunted mansion story, like The 7th Guest.  You play Michael Arthate, a writer suffering from writer's block, who moves out to the abandoned Blackwood mansion to finish his book.  When he arrives he slowly begins to uncover the history of the Blackwood family and their dealings with an ancient, malevolent African spirit.  And then, there's also the strange scratching noises that echo throughout the house when the sun goes down...

This is quite the chilling game.  It's short, and not very difficult, but it's got quite the atmosphere, and a moody soundtrack to complement it.  The scares are your typical "Boo!" variety, but here they really work, because the scares are actually scary (like an African mask that likes to move around on its own and float behind you menacingly.  Trust me, it's effective). 

It's a puzzle game, like 7th Guest, but this is more about clicking on everything you see until you pick something up, and then using that item on everything you can until something happens.  It's not the most brain-bending of games.

I don't have as much to say about this way, but then there isn't much to say.  It's just a short, sweet, creepy little story.

 
Scariest Moment: The ending.  Pulling off an ending in a horror novel/movie/game/anything that somehow manages to be scarier than the beginning and middle is almost impossible.  Off the top of my head I can think of only one movie to ever pull it off: The Ring.  So it's a real treat when it happens.  Here you go, if you want to follow along.  At the end of the game, you think you've finally unraveled all the mysteries of the house, and you've exorcised the evil spirit.  As you start to leave the house, flush with victory, you suddenly hear the scratches again.  Investigating, you find they're coming from one of the fireplaces.  You go down into a secret door at the bottom of the fireplace and find a hidden room filled with gnawed bones, a table and chair and, most perplexingly, a chewed-up teddy bear.  You notice a large hole in the wall and go to investigate and when you do, out jumps the son of the Blackwoods, hideously mutated and savage from the voodoo curse.  He moans and lunges at you, trying to attack you.  It's sudden, startling, completely unexpected, and absolutely terrifying.  Personally I think the most chilling part of the whole scenario is when you're staring into the hole and his eyes suddenly open, glowing eerily in the darkness.  This ending really stuck with me, and still freaks me out whenever I play the game.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Damn Owls

Hey, for this post I figured I'd take a break from games, mostly since I haven't been able to play any games lately.  I'm gonna talk about the movie Legend of the Guardians.  Now, I also did a review on this for our assignment, but I figured I'd talk about it in a more casual setting.

First off: I hate Zack Snyder.  The man hasn't made a single good movie.  Ever.  Dawn of the Dead remake: bad.  300: awful (I don't care what you say, 300 is one of the worst pieces of trash ever filmed).  Watchmen: boring.  He's the epitome of style over substance.  All of his movies look great, but they all lack a soul, and have nothing to say.  There's no real character development, no emotion, nothing attaching the audience to the action.  But, is Legend of the Guardians any different?


.....Nope.

This movie is a mess.  First there's the problem of trying to squish three books into one 90-minute movie.  This is the same problem with the Airbender movie: why do you feel the need to make the movie so short?  You're adapting a dense piece of work, no one will care if you make it 2 hours or over.  It gives you the necessary time to better flesh everything out and tell the story more engagingly.  As it is, the movie's rushed, particularly in the last half.  The first half takes its sweet time (the first half is entirely based off only the first book) and I thought the movie might not be that bad, but then it's a mad rush to the end with characters that whizz by and plot elements spewed out with machine gun speed.  There's no time to connect with anyone, and no time to care.

When will Zack learn that just because your movie is pretty it doesn't make it good?  Almost every single moment of the movie relishes in extreme close-ups on the owl's faces, so we can see just how realistic they are (seriously, over two-thirds of the shots in the moie were close-ups).  So what, Zack?  So what?  Why should I care how good your owls look?  Are they memorable?  Are they engaging?  No?  So what's the point?

By the way, this movie suffers from definite Uncanny Valley effect (the idea that the more realistic something becomes, the more glaring its inhumanity becomes).  The effects are so realistic that it's almost not like we're watching a cartoon.  It's like we're watching owls.  There's a kind of disconnect when they're so realistic (for one thing, real owls can't make human expressions.  If there weren't so many close-ups I'd have no idea what was going on on their faces.), and it pulls the viewer out of the movie.  If they were a little more cartoony, it'd be a little better.

The one good thing I will say about this movie is that unlike his others, it's actually almost good.  He's starting to refine his craft, and at least is trying to inject some real emotion into his characters.  Maybe he'll get it next time.  What's his next movie?

...damn it.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Monkey Island: Play It

Did you know that once upon a time games actually made you think?  That's right, gaming hasn't always been stuffed full of titles featuring of super-steroided men taking on zombies/Nazis/terrorists/whatever bad guy's popular that month.  A long time ago the most popular and prominent game genre was something called the adventure game.  These games had little to no action in them, and were instead about the player using logic to complete puzzles.  For a time, this was quite literally the only type of game that was made for the PC.  Companies like Sierra and LucasArts (contrary to popular belief, LucasArts hasn't always been the enormous Star Wars whore it is today) designed adventure games almost exclusively.  While Sierra did produce some classics such as the King's Quest and Space Quest series (Sierra had a thing for Quests), LucasArts defined the genre with titles such as Loom, Full Throttle, and most famously, Monkey Island.

Monkey Island was released back in 1990, when adventure games were just starting to come into their own.  It's a goofy comedy featuring a young man named Guybrush Threepwood, and his efforts to become a swashbuckling pirate.  It's wacky and zany and filled with anachronisms, and it has a wonderful script written by a man named Tim Schafer, who's pretty much the Joss Whedon of gaming.  Every script he's written is golden, from the off-the-wall humor of Day of the Tentacle to the bleaker and more dystopian Full Throttle.  Most recently he released a game called Brutal Legend, about a roadie who gets sucked into a medieval world inspired by heavy metal cover-art.

But I digress; I'm not here to gush about the people who made the game, I'm here to tell you about why you should play it.  First of all, it's a narrative game, which means there's a focus on story rather than on gameplay.  And the story is fantastic.  Like I said, it's goofy and funny, and Guybrush is a genuinely likable guy.  It's relatively simple: Guybrush arrives at Melee Island to become a pirate.  While in the process of becoming a pirate, he meets and falls in love with the governor of the island, who then gets captured by an evil ghost pirate named LeChuck.  From that point, the game is a rescue mission which takes you all around Melee, across the sea, and eventually to the mysterious Monkey Island.

Absolutely anyone can pick it up and play it as it requires no skill to play.  You control Guybrush by clicking on the screen where you want to go.  Every so often there'll be an item you can interact with, and you can choose what you want to do with it: pick it up, talk to it if it's a person, open it, close it, look at it, push it, pull it, the list goes on and on. 

The story is progressed by the solving of puzzles.  At the beginning of the game, you are assigned three tasks by a group of pirates to prove yourself worthy of a life of piracy.  From there, it's completely up to you to figure out how to complete the tasks.  You'll need to talk to people, pick up everything that isn't nailed down, and explore everywhere.  Anyone who's ever complained that games deaden your brain needs to play this one, and be proven wrong.

Seriously, you owe it to yourself to play this piece of gaming history.  And if you're worried you can't find it because it's too old, don't; LucasArts released a special edition a couple years ago with updated graphics and interface.  Here it is.  Play it now.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Robot Unicorn Attack: Why You Can't Stop Playing

If you're someone (like me) whose life is largely taken up by what's on the Internet, chances are good you've heard of a game on Adult Swim's website called Robot Unicorn Attack.  It's a simple little game wherein you control of a robot unicorn who is ceaselessly running from the left side of the screen to the right.  You can't change its direction, you can only tell it to jump over pits or smash through obstacles.  While you run, a counter steadily ticks upwards until you inevitably fall to your doom or crash and explode against a wall.  You get three chances to accumulate as many points as possible, and then you post your high score and laugh at all the people who aren't as good as you.  It's simple, fast, and easy to pick up.  And it's one of the most relentlessly addicting games you'll ever play.

The game has exploded in popularity since its release, particularly amongst Drury's theatre department; almost all of them have at least tried this game once, and almost everyone who tried hasn't stopped playing since.  But why is it so addicting?  For that matter, what makes any addicting game addicting?  Why are games like this, and games like World of Warcraft so easily able to suck our lives out through our fingers?

Well, like I said, Robot Unicorn Attack is a very accessible game, very easy to pick up, and the average playing round won't last more than three minutes.  But what about a game like World of Warcraft, or, really, any online role-playing game?  These games are so full of complexities and intricacies that only people who really like gaming will have the patience to pick up.  But these games are legendary for their ability to suck the time away and leave us hollow-eyed, drooling shells who've forgotten what day it is or even when we last showered.  So, something isn't addicting just based on how easy it is to play.  What's the other factor?

The answer isn't all that complicated.  It's a very simple psychological trick to get us to come back again and again.

Humans love accomplishment.  They love the feeling they get when they're rewarded for something.  And that's what these games do.  They give you constant reward.  When you start a role-playing game, it's almost insultingly easy to level up.  Every five minutes or so, you're either getting more money, or getting stronger, or getting better armor and weapons.  So you think, "Oh, well, that was easy.  I'll just keep playing and see how much stronger I can get."  So you keep playing.  Gradually, the amount of time you spend between each level-up increases.  It suddenly takes you ten minutes to get to the next level.  Then fifteen.  Then twenty.  Thirty.  An hour.  Before you know it, you're spending five hours at a time doing nothing but casting fire spells at trees, or bonking wild wolves on the head with your sword just so you can try to recapture that feeling of accomplishment you had in the beginning.  And Robot Unicorn Attack, with its constantly ticking timer, gives you endless incentive to keep trying over and over again.

You can play the game here.  Be warned: your soul belongs to it as soon as you start playing.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The ESRB Has No Obligation to Your Kids

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/103423-72-Percent-of-Adults-Support-California-Game-Law-UPDATED

Idiots.

For those of you who don't know what the article above means, I'll explain.

A while back, California attempted to pass new legislation that would bypass the ESRB (the ratings system for video games) and make it completely illegal for video games to be sold to minors.  As in, fined and/or arrested.

Of course, the legislation was shot down because it's completely stupid, but not only is the state of California appealing the case to the Supreme Court, a good chunk of the American people think this legislation should be instated, as the article says.  The people's logic is that their children need to be protected from the big bad Grand Theft Auto, and the only way to do that is by, instead of taking personal responsibility for their children, forcing the gaming industry to do it for them.

Are you kidding me?  Why should the gaming industry be forced to do your job because you're too incompetent to do it yourselves?  There aren't any laws preventing the sale of mature movies to children.  Any.  Not one.  Any punishments regarding the sale of mature material to minors is something handled at a local level, by Wal-Mart managers and theatre employees.  I worked at a movie theatre in high school.  You know what happens if a kid sneaks into an R-rated movie?  Nothing.  NOTHING.  Imagine if you had to pay hundreds of dollars because some prick kid got past you in the ticket line.

And if you try to say, "Well, the system they have to keep minors away from violent videogames doesn't work," you know what I have to say to that?  This.

BAM.  Graph'd.

It's HARDER to get ahold of adult games than movies. 

If you need more proof, on a more personal side, I still get carded when I buy an M-rated game, and I've been of legal age for three years.  Every time.  I've never been able to get an M-rated without having to show my ID. 

The system in place now works just fine.  It's the same system that's been in place for years.  Of course stuff's bound to slip through the cracks, but an 80 percent success rate obviously means something is working.  Any claims that they need to do more to protect your precious children are just wrong.  Why don't you try being parents, you assholes, instead of blaming others for what you're incompetent at doing?

Monday, September 13, 2010

Voice Actors Still Act, You Know

Voice actors are like the untouchables of the acting world.  There's an unspoken class system to acting, with movie actors at the top, followed by TV actors, then stage actors, with voice actors at the very bottom.  Whenever people talk about acting in cartoons or video games, they do so with a smirk and maybe a dismissive gesture.  I remember one time where I was talking to a friend about Up and I asked him, "So, who was the main character?  Someone famous, right?"  And he responded with, "Yeah, Ed Asner played him...I mean, did the voice for him," and scoffed to himself.  Or another time when a different friend and I were playing a game where we came up with really bad actors who would play us in movies about our lives.  Laughing, my friend said, "You know who should play you?  Haley Joel Osment."

"Um, you mean the guy who got nominated for an Oscar as a kid?"

"Yeah, nominated, and what's he doing now?"

"I think he's the main character in Kingdom Hearts."

"Yeah.  Voice acting!"

So, why exactly is voice acting less legitimate than any other kind?  You're still playing a character, aren't you?  You're still portraying a person with their own thoughts, feelings, goals, wants, needs, and experiences, aren't you?  But for some reason, no one cares about it.  Not even the people who hire voice actors, generally.  I mean, you can usually count on quality acting from big budget productions like Disney or Pixar movies; or, on the television side, there's Family Guy, which has great voice acting, regardless of how shitty the show itself is.  But in something like, say, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the acting just....isn't good.  All the actors, main and supporting, are flat and stilted, and the title character in particular has a bad case of the mushmouth.  Now, the show itself is pretty fantastic, and the actors do get better as they go, but it isn't nearly the level of quality of something like Family Guy.

It's focused on even less in video games.  Voice acting is usually the very last step in the game-making process.  The game is worked on for months, maybe years, and then they shuttle a couple actors in a dark studio, have them recite the lines for two days, and they're done.  This is why in most games the characters' mouth movements don't match the words being said. 

Translated games are the absolute worst.  They don't even try sometimes.  I mean, obviously something is bound to get lost in the translation, but if you've ever watched a Hayao Miyazaki movie in English then you know that quality acting can still be taken from a dubbed work.  The most horrifying example is Final Fantasy X, an otherwise fantastic game that was almost ruined by how shitty the voicework was.  Take this, the most infamous scene of the game, for example.

The whole game is like that.

Or how about this, from the original Resident Evil?

But I digress.  So, why is voice acting such a disrespected branch of the craft?  The only real reason I can think of is that since we're such visual creatures, there's a certain disconnect that occurs when we hear a voice, but we aren't seeing the speaker.  When we think of iconic cartoon or game characters, the first thing we go to is what they look like.  If I were to go up to you and say, "Winnie-the-Pooh," the first thing that'd pop into your head wouldn't be one of his trademark phrases, like, "Oh, bother," or, "Think-think-think-think," but rather a silent image of the Disney icon. 



But the memorable image isn't the only thing that makes him an icon.  It's his raspy voice, the way he speaks, the inflections he makes, the way he interacts with the people and animals around him.  Dug from Up isn't remembered simply because he's a talking dog.  It's the lovable, dumb-guy delivery of every line that makes him so very quotable. 

Would Gollum have made such a lasting impression if his voice wasn't the wet, gravelly, throat-killing snarl it was?

Would Mark Hamill's Joker from Batman: The Animated Series have scared the shit out of us as kids if his laugh wasn't the insane giggle it was?

Voice actors have the same job that all actors do: to play the part, and play it well.  To make a memorable experience for the audience and to stick in people's minds long after the movie's ended.  In a way, voice actors need to draw on even more skill than most since they must maintain good chemistry and interaction with the other characters while never actually speaking to or even seeing them.  And it's not like voice acting is populated only by people who weren't lucky enough to make it in Hollywood; celebrities have also given their voices, including Christian Bale, David Spade, Patrick Stewart, and Ed Asner.  Is Christian Bale less of an actor because he was in Howl's Moving Castle?  Is David Spade less respectable because he appeared in the Spyro games?

Actually, don't answer that last one.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Plan

I'll be writing mostly about video games that I'm playing.  Sometimes they'll be reviews and sometimes they'll be retrospectives or nostalgia trips.  Or, if I don't feel like doing that, I'll talk about cartoons, because I love cartoons.